I'll spare you the trouble

HELLO FROM VEGA$$$$$!!!
We have been in Sin City an entire 24 hours and let me tell you... THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
I distinctly remember yelling "Bitch, don't kill my vibe!" leaving Bellagio's club HYDE around midnight. NO clue why. #sorrynotsorry.

Vegas tip #1: GO TO THE VENUS POOL AT CAESAR'S. Sure the margaritas are literally $1 per ounce...as in I paid $40 for a 40oz marg but did I have to get out of the pool every 20 mins for a refill? You bet your ass I didn't. Invest in a Grand Marnier floater. You won't be sorry. And if oodles of insanely attractive people and huge drinks isn't convincing enough... this is a European style pool closed off by huge trees and tents from the rest of Caesar's pools. And yes people, but European style I do mean the pool is top-tional. Lots of well-endowed (and us, the less endowed crowd) ladies threw back their obscenely expensive drinks and let it hang loose for a little. If you're feeling like you need to be liberated, do it. We only lasted 20 mins without our bikini tops but it was too wild of an opportunity to pass up because WHEN IN VEGAS, DO WHAT VEGAS CRAZIES DO.

Vegas tip #2: **ladies only** GO TO THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER.

Need I say more? I am seated on Tyler's lap--only after I proceeded to make googly eyes at him and his rock hard abs the ENTIRE night. I am not ashamed. Being in the front row of this show was beyond entertaining. They're just so cute and delicious and hunks of pure sweaty hotness. PS- Tyler and I are a thing. You can't stop love at first lap dance. 

Vegas tip #3: Purchase the VIP club package along with your TFDU show tickets.
You will get tons of passes to really hot clubs and most of them come with a time frame of free drinks, open bars, etc. We'll be at Hyde tonight for the vodka bar. God save us.

And last tip of the day: HYDRATE.
If you want to last, to not miss one single second of the beauty that is Las Vegas, you have to drink water. No one at the bar will judge you for hydration. PLUUUUUSSSS:
If you go to the bar and order a water, that adorably cute Clark Kent lookalike will offer to buy you a big girl drink after you finish your water and you will stand there talking, laughing, getting straight up smitten with him for even longer.

This is all for now..because I need to go shopping and find a bloody mary. But if I have learned anything in the last 24 hours, it is this:
If your twentysomething years were made for anything...they were made for Vegas.