I've
been noodling with a post this week, anxious to not let my blog fall to
the wayside now that I am in San Antonio. Because isn't that the whole point of
the Internet? Location shouldn't matter if the content remains
relevant. (or at least, that's what I'm telling myself)
I drafted a piece on complaining. It is, indeed, one of my most treasured activities aside from primetime television and eating McDonald's. But what I felt most necessary to complain about is something none of us can fix: 90+ degree weather in mid-October. Bitching about warmer temps will not, unfortunately, convince Mother Nature to give me the autumn breeze I desperately crave.
The next piece I drafted was on how I've magically found myself doing really adult things like: weekly date nights with my boyfriend and pre-sunrise dog walks with mi madre; planning my evening around flea baths and Target runs; working at a desk from 8a-5p; joyfully stocking my desk drawer with healthy snacks (because heaven forbid I become even slightly hungry in between meals). I could go on and on because I have spent an absurd amount of time realizing how adult-like I am ... and how, 98% of the time I feel like I'm playing a video game where I've skipped the tutorial and am just sort of running around with no idea how anything actually works. But, this is not some riveting revelation. I'm certain many twentysomethings find themselves all of sudden being adulty. It's just like "BAM 10p, time for bed because I'm an adult. Also, did I get enough calcium today? You know #bonehealth"
Despite my now exposed lack of creativity, I figured I would just leave the browser open for a bit and hope something would come to me. It was not until I was aggressively sifting through holiday tablescape ideas on Pinterest that inspiration struck. One table display debuted an easy way to make your own placemats. The stamped quote of choice read "Give Thanks with Grateful Hearts".
It's like life ... or God... hit me upside the head, Jethro Gibbs style. This whole time I've been searching for ways to write about negative things: complaining in general and then complaining specifically about my newfound depleted youth. "What's with you, Debbie Downer?", the nonmushy part of my brain said. The reality is the negative stuff is funnier. I'm literally picturing Jakob's face when he catches me 'in a mood' about something utterly maddening and equally ridiculous. The poor guy thinks he's just asking how I am, only to get an earful about something that doesn't matter *to anyone* and can't be fixed. But when I saw that preciously handcrafted placemat, I knew I had fallen into the ultimate blogger trap-- "bitching just to bitch".
So here's what's gonna go down today. I'm not going to bitch. I'm not going to rant about the fact that it's basically still summer in Texas. I'm not going to tell you all about how weird it is to be an adult. I'm sitting back, closing my eyes, letting my heart and my mind fill with what's important: grace and gratitude.
I drafted a piece on complaining. It is, indeed, one of my most treasured activities aside from primetime television and eating McDonald's. But what I felt most necessary to complain about is something none of us can fix: 90+ degree weather in mid-October. Bitching about warmer temps will not, unfortunately, convince Mother Nature to give me the autumn breeze I desperately crave.
The next piece I drafted was on how I've magically found myself doing really adult things like: weekly date nights with my boyfriend and pre-sunrise dog walks with mi madre; planning my evening around flea baths and Target runs; working at a desk from 8a-5p; joyfully stocking my desk drawer with healthy snacks (because heaven forbid I become even slightly hungry in between meals). I could go on and on because I have spent an absurd amount of time realizing how adult-like I am ... and how, 98% of the time I feel like I'm playing a video game where I've skipped the tutorial and am just sort of running around with no idea how anything actually works. But, this is not some riveting revelation. I'm certain many twentysomethings find themselves all of sudden being adulty. It's just like "BAM 10p, time for bed because I'm an adult. Also, did I get enough calcium today? You know #bonehealth"
Despite my now exposed lack of creativity, I figured I would just leave the browser open for a bit and hope something would come to me. It was not until I was aggressively sifting through holiday tablescape ideas on Pinterest that inspiration struck. One table display debuted an easy way to make your own placemats. The stamped quote of choice read "Give Thanks with Grateful Hearts".
It's like life ... or God... hit me upside the head, Jethro Gibbs style. This whole time I've been searching for ways to write about negative things: complaining in general and then complaining specifically about my newfound depleted youth. "What's with you, Debbie Downer?", the nonmushy part of my brain said. The reality is the negative stuff is funnier. I'm literally picturing Jakob's face when he catches me 'in a mood' about something utterly maddening and equally ridiculous. The poor guy thinks he's just asking how I am, only to get an earful about something that doesn't matter *to anyone* and can't be fixed. But when I saw that preciously handcrafted placemat, I knew I had fallen into the ultimate blogger trap-- "bitching just to bitch".
So here's what's gonna go down today. I'm not going to bitch. I'm not going to rant about the fact that it's basically still summer in Texas. I'm not going to tell you all about how weird it is to be an adult. I'm sitting back, closing my eyes, letting my heart and my mind fill with what's important: grace and gratitude.
There
are a lot of things I could get twisted about that aren't so superficial. I
could sit here on my soapbox (I'm far too lazy to stand on it) and tell
you about overwhelming feelings of self-doubt, a hurt heart and an even more
wounded pride, and fighting against petty judgment. But I'm not going to do
that either. I think so much of what weighs me down is not my affinity for
McDoubles, but because I am a certified, card-carrying member of a top
not-so-secret society, Grudge Holders Anonymous (GHA for short).
I think it is often so easy for us to get bogged down with things that suck-- especially when those "things" are people's attitude (and when I can't wear a scarf without sweating). Jakob and I went to Sunday mass at Blessed Sacrament, a new joint for me, and the sermon delved into a discussion on letting go. The question posed was this: "What is something that you could let go of that is holding you back from stronger relationships?" And that went for all kinds of relationships. The one we have with God, our spouses and significant others, our families, our friends. That's not to say that you should just brush ya shoulders off every time someone is a jackass to you. But, really think about it. Is there something that you are refusing to let go of, and subsequently, letting it dictate the growth in your relationships?
Sometimes people wrong us. Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes we grow up without realizing it. Sometimes Mother Nature just won't give me afternoons in the high 60s. With very minimal effort, I can usually find something to complain about. Most times, I'm not actually upset- I just think being generally cynical is entertaining. But once in a blue moon, I am upset. Every so often, I get a legitimate pass to lose my cool, be angry and cry (also, another favorite pastime). However, Steve Maraboli (via @elitedaily) said it best--
I think it is often so easy for us to get bogged down with things that suck-- especially when those "things" are people's attitude (and when I can't wear a scarf without sweating). Jakob and I went to Sunday mass at Blessed Sacrament, a new joint for me, and the sermon delved into a discussion on letting go. The question posed was this: "What is something that you could let go of that is holding you back from stronger relationships?" And that went for all kinds of relationships. The one we have with God, our spouses and significant others, our families, our friends. That's not to say that you should just brush ya shoulders off every time someone is a jackass to you. But, really think about it. Is there something that you are refusing to let go of, and subsequently, letting it dictate the growth in your relationships?
Sometimes people wrong us. Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes we grow up without realizing it. Sometimes Mother Nature just won't give me afternoons in the high 60s. With very minimal effort, I can usually find something to complain about. Most times, I'm not actually upset- I just think being generally cynical is entertaining. But once in a blue moon, I am upset. Every so often, I get a legitimate pass to lose my cool, be angry and cry (also, another favorite pastime). However, Steve Maraboli (via @elitedaily) said it best--
"How would your life be different if you stopped
allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or
opinions?"
A little more grace and a lot more gratitude could go a long way towards a healthier and happier life. Maybe I'm insane or naïve. Scratch that, I know I am both. But, I'm not sure I am wrong on this. Maybe if we all took a little time to stop looking for faults, stop bitching just to bitch, and focused on the good in ourselves, the good in this life, and the good in others, maybe...just maybe, everyone could find a little bigger slice of happiness.
Speaking of slice: I really wish I could get some pie delivered to my office.
A little more grace and a lot more gratitude could go a long way towards a healthier and happier life. Maybe I'm insane or naïve. Scratch that, I know I am both. But, I'm not sure I am wrong on this. Maybe if we all took a little time to stop looking for faults, stop bitching just to bitch, and focused on the good in ourselves, the good in this life, and the good in others, maybe...just maybe, everyone could find a little bigger slice of happiness.
Speaking of slice: I really wish I could get some pie delivered to my office.
