Shia gives apologies a bad name

My love for following celebrities is real and true-- not in the way that, once carefully written by Nicholas Sparks, totally negates the creepy connotation of stalking. It's borderline obsessive, completely unnecessary and all-consuming. I record TMZ if I'm going to miss the broadcast. I follow everyone worth following on Twitter. I Insta-stalk like it's my damn day job. Obviously, there are a beaucoup of things I could do with my time that would deem "more productive", but I'd really rather not. I'm a gawker and I ain't even a little sorry. ( I also blame my mother for this). 

That being said, this Shia LaBeouf plagiarism scandal has captivated my full attention. To recap: Shia allegedly copied a BBC staff writer's review of a Nirvana album as his own review for Cage's new album. Pretty casual stuff, right? Wrong. Plagiarism is the marijuana of legality: a gateway drug. Shia went on to allegedly completely rip off comic creator, Daniel Clowes. It wasn't a 7th grade attempt at sneaking in passages from Wikipedia to your book report, either. Shia made a short film, "HowardCantour.com" that paralleled Clowes' "Justin M. Damiano" storyline "beat-for-beat" (according to MTV.com). Which, in case you were wondering, is not kosher. You can't just steal someone's work and pass it off as your own. I'm not sure what Shia is going through-- amensia, Brit Spears 2007 breakdown, a little Macaulay Culkin drug thang-- but something is fishy. Or maybe this is one giant publicity scheme about the lack of originality or the right to express yourself through already existing works in pop culture today. It's probably some version of the latter and we are just pawns in the joke. Stick it to the man, Shia. Whatever.

But the real kicker of this entire scandal is Shia's version of public apologies. Now I know I just ranted about plagiarism, but this whole thing is such bogus that the his tweet apologies are honestly hysterical. See here and laugh along.

See, it is hysterical. Sure, it's a little offensive to plagiarize your public apologies in regards to your earlier plagiarism. But honestly, take a second and think about the statement that Shia making-- regardless of the offense, saying "I'm sorry" is such a cliche.

Please stop and close your jaw. I am not, by any means, saying do not apologize when you screw up. If you don't apologize for being an asshole, then you're a crappy human. But the reality of our world, the world of high speed, high tech, selfishness, is that apologies come fast, hard and often.  

How many times can Biebs apologize for being a hot mess? How many times did Kobe apologize for cheating on his wife? (because we all know he did... Vanessa's big, fat diamond screams "I'm sorry for being a cheating bastard") Reese Witherspoon got crazy and arrested, apologized and returned back to top celeb status. I can't help but wonder, will there come a day when, no matter how sincere, "I'm sorry" just won't cut it? 

To be honest, I really hope not. There are some days, some times when you just really screw up and all you have to say for yourself is "I am so sorry". I used to be one of those chronically annoying kids who said "sorry" for literally anything but one day, Steph whipped her head around to me cowering in the backseat and said "if you keep saying sorry all of the time, it will not mean anything anymore". That was the day I learned that apologies are more than "I'm sorry" . Apologizing is about accepting and acknowledging your wrong, admitting to it, admitting to being a crappy human, and then asking/hoping for the opportunity to put a bandaid on the wound and let things heal before the hurt party throws in the towel on the relationship.

Truth be told, I screw up on the reg. I always want to be perfect, always desperate to avoid disappointing the people in my world. But I fail over and over again. Luckily, I have some incredibly patient people in my world who tell me when I suck, tell me why I suck, and have enough faith in me that I will continue work harder to suck less. For that, I thank you.

Whether you are a brand new 21 year old (HBD Berg) or already retired in the Keys, be wary of the cliched apology. If you are sorry, say it. If you're not, don't. If you royally mess up and can't even believe you are such a terrible human and you should be banned from the world indefinitely, say that. Be dramatic if it's dramatic. But if you forgot to swap out an empty TP roll for a new one and your roommate throws it at your big, dumb head, put up a sticky note next to the roll holder for your big dumb head to remember next time and move on. The most offensive part of apologies is sulking, which only continues to punish everyone around you... Then you're the pain in the ass who screwed up and won't quit pouting. You messed up, you don't get a pity party.

And if nothing else, my dear readers struggling with the inevitability of screwing up during your twentysomethings, steer clear of Shia, but @Son_of_Fratter has some solid advice:

leave no stone unturned

Today marks a strange day for the TCU class of 2014. Today begins the real countdown to graduation. Today marks our last "first day of school". Today marks the beginning of the end. But more than the cloaked cliches of the painful reminders that we really are just getting too old for most of this shit, today changes everything. 

Unlike my peers, I spent the majority of this last big break in Fort Worth. I didn't get to go home and play high school reunion. I didn't get to travel abroad. (I did manage to up my reading glasses magnification yet again; #blessed.) What did I get was a perfect seven days in San Antonio with my favorite people surrounded by the contagious bliss of the holidays and 3 other weeks learning something insanely new every single day (the intern life is kinda cool sometimes). Sure. I wish I could've watched every episode of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman with Steph or seen my girlfriends more. But c'est la vie. I have no complaints. And lets be real, less time at home meant less opportunities to be bombarded with every almost-graduate's favorite conversation topic: The FUTURE.

If you survived the Neeley grind and got your full time offer from a Big 4, props. Saying "Oh, I signed with EY and will start in June" sounds a whole of a hell lot better than "Oh, I actually have no earthly clue about this elusive 'future' in question, but I've got some really solid happy hours penciled in for January." 

Many of my readers knew me in high school (and even during my peak years of 4th-8th grade). I wasn't "cool" until like spring of my junior year and even that is still up for debate. A lot of that had to do with the fact that I was always on a mission. I was going to graduate Summa Cum Laude. I was going to be Brahmadora Colonel. I was going to be involved and make a difference.  I was going to get to have my pick of universities rather than having to take whoever let me in (jokes on you, TCU). When I started four years ago, I was a History and Arts Administration major. I was going to curate at the Guggenheim. I was going to travel the world searching for groundbreaking exhibits and be the queen of the museum world.  I accomplished everything on my to do list but so much has changed as I brace myself to walk the stage in May with a B.S. in Strategic Communications and Sociology (that is Bachelor of Science, not bullshit). There's a little FOMO resonating as I look back, yet not one regret. 

Luckily for me, I only had one significant run in with a past teacher/mentor/favorite human, Andrew Arnatt. It was at the Oak Park HEB. (If you get that reference, you know it's a miracle that I only ran into one person I knew.) But on a late night whipped cream run (because you can't drink coffee and Bailey's without whipped cream), something changed my entire perspective on handling The Final Countdown. I chatted with Andrew about how old we both are, my TBD post-grad plans and lastly, my current PR internship with Consuro. His response to my work was, "They are lucky to have you as a writer, someone who doesn't shy from tackling a subject you know nothing about. The intelligence and creativity that you've shown me and apparently continue to show makes you invaluable." HOLY CRAP BATMAN. No, this is not a post of self praise, I swear. Most days of my world are embarrassing, ironically hilarious, and full of insanity. But this moment is how I imagine athletes make it to the pro level-- a by chance meeting with a "coach" that reaffirms where you're headed. Am I the next Carrie Bradshaw? Doubtful. (NYC isn't my scene). But what I've missed over the last 3.5 years was the foundation of who I am- a writer. Some people are great with numbers. Some people have a knack for fashion or environmental law. I truly believe that everyone has a piece of themselves that is as unique as a fingerprint. When you find it, don't ever let go. Maybe it won't get you a career. Maybe it won't make you famous. But I promise you, it will complete you. 

Where to next? Who the hell knows. I refuse to tell you people to "live in the moment" because that's impossible. And I won't tell you to "make the most of every day". Some days are meant for 12 hours of whatever marathon USA is airing-- I am a confirmed SVU and NCIS addict. I will tell you TCU students to get better about using your blinkers around campus. I will tell you to at least attempt to disguise the fact that you haven't washed your hair in two days with a hat or headband or SOMETHING. Above all, I will tell you to relax.

Just because you have found yourself at a crossroads does not mean that you have to run off in one direction or the other. You can sit there for a while and contemplate your alternatives. You can take in the scenery right where you're standing, and think about what direction you want to head towards. You can't know every obstacle you will face in either direction. Nor can you know every blessing that will make its way to you on whichever path you choose. That's why you have to just peacefully and harmoniously decide what you want, and just take it from there. Leave no stone unturned. When you're ready, move forward-- but not a moment sooner. 

Congrats to everyone on the new year and impending graduations (even 8th grade grad can be intense). 
Have a drink, take a load off and cut yourself some slack... you'll figure it out eventually.