Will the real adult please stand up?

Calm down, Slim Shady, this ain’t your time. This is, like it or not, the time when twentysomethings are forced to stop drinking, eating and acting like the cast members of National Lampoon’s Animal House. And let me tell ya…it kinda blows. No one wants to pay their own bills, say Adios to tequila Tuesdays, or show up to a cubicle five days of the week from 8am-6pm (because 9-5 doesn’t exist anymore). But that’s not the hardest part by a longshot.

Making the transition from teen to collegian to adult is either slow and seamless or closer to ripping off a Band-Aid. I cannot attest to the ease of the first option because well…I NEVER get that lucky …like ever. There was a moment during my sophomore year when the universe just chimed in, “Oh haiiiiii Em. How you doin? PS- you’ve been cut off. Go ahead, finish off that bottle of $9 merlot and soak up the last remaining moments of simplicity because you’re headed for the 8^th level of hell- Adulthood.” Can I get a “Hell to the Yes”?!?! Awesome. But really though people, I would be lying if I told you that growing up was easy or fun or C. all of the above. The only thing that has been my saving grace is the relationship I have with my mother.

The majority of you, sweet angel baby readers, are friends or are lucky enough to be acquainted with Steph. The Queen of Sass has been my rock, my heart, my very best friend since the beginning of time (aka February 28, 1992). But while most of you see us as the epitome of a pristinely functional mother-daughter relationship…we have our issues and they mostly revolve around my sassy twentysomething self. You see, not only is it hard to maintain dignity and purpose as a human when you are transitioning to adulthood, but making that leap while in any relationship pushes both parties to the limit.

Needless to say, the conversation of what an “adult mother-daughter relationship” looks like came up on Tuesday. Currently, I’m sitting next to the other half of our real-life cliché-- the tree that this acorn fell from, waiting for the stewardess to serve us vodka sodas on our flight to Las Vegas. We are meeting 4 of my closest hometown friends and their mothers for the “we are finally all 21” weekend bash of the century. With the inevitability of this weekend blurring into one giant drunken stupor, Steph and I had to finally come to terms with what this adventure and my transition into adulthood would mean for our relationship. And can I just say, we couldn’t be happier! In an effort to model you readers into shining stars of society, Sassafrass and I came up with some overarching rules.

So, in the eternal words of Andy Cohen: Here’s what:

1.      Just because you’re best friends does not negate the origin of the relationship: parent to child. I vowed to let her cut me off when I begin to embarrass myself and to let her go home at night when she’s done so she doesn’t have to witness me embarrassing myself.

2.      You can and should certainly call a girlfriend out when she’s being a total bitch. That is, however, never the appropriate way to handle tensions between parent and child…from either side. Calling your mom a bitch WILL get you bitch slapped. (I do not speak from personal experience. I am not and will not ever be brave enough to legit call my mom a bitch. I prefer to remain alive).

3.      Sometimes, it’s okay to let your parent stop being a parent and just be a crazy, awesome friend. They spend all day, every day with their parenting cap on…but you’re adults now who can put that aside every now and then to just let it all hang loose.

4.      Take and give advice with grace. When Steph gives me advice, I tend to take it personally. But hello—it’s not. More than likely, she’s been there and done that. She is just speaking from experience and for that, I have to be grateful and appreciative. Put your ego aside, put away your desperate attempt to prove you can make it on your own and open your ears.

5.      Most importantly of all: let each other be who they are. Steph and I are the true ying and yang. She is loud, zany, balls-to-the-wall, and ass-on-fire 98% of every day. I have the habit of falling to slightly more reserved levels of those attributes unless I am 100% comfortable with the people and situation. (If and when I am comfortable, consider this a blanket warning). We not only let each other be who we really are, we appreciate each other for our differences and let the other be the spotlight in their own elements. We also, above all, encourage the crazy sides of each other because when we’re together and on a roll, there ain’t no stopping the crazy train.

 

Being an adult can be scary and stupid and really just plain unnecessary at times. But if you have a person in your life that has been there from a time before hell froze over, hold on to them and your relationship for dear life. You’ll need them more than you can ever anticipate.