ICYMI:Ladies Edition

Here's the deal, plain and simple: I love you people...and because I care, I'm starting a running tally of quick tips for a successful run at being a Twentysomething. Ladies get their to-dos and donts first...the page for smelly boys will soon follow.

**TAKE NOTES BETCHES*

 

 

 

NEW RULE: When on a flight to Vegas with turbulence, do not hold your beer above your head. You will end with a beer shower and smelling like the Lambda Chi house.

Don’t sleep with your makeup on
Sure, you’re likely to pass out somewhere without your toiletries bag…but just because you roll up at 3am to your own bed and are too tired to finish your third Gordito Crunch does NOT give you the excuse to not wash your face.

Start your own “cook book”
 Not literally, Martha Stewart, unless you really are in college just for your Mrs. Degree. A broad in this day-in-age is going to need to know her way around the kitchen and be more proficient than heating up canned soup. Get yo-self on Pinterest, find a recipe, and experiment. You can survive on scrambled eggs, but YOU DESERVE BETTER. By Christmas, you should master at least 7 different meals.  Then you can feed yourself for a whole week. Good for you.

Invest
In a few staple outfit pieces. Every respectable lady needs a great pair of skinny jeans, the perfect pair of white shorts, a killer maxi, and a blazer. Nude pumps are also a must; not the Jessica Simpson ones though… I promise you’ll hate yourself and those demon shoes after an hour.

Get over yourself
I’m serious, sweetheart. Stop whining, stop self-loathing. Stop eating Mac&Cheese because “no one loves meeeee”. DUH. No one will love you if all you do is cry and eat. That’s lame. PEOPLE LOVE FUN PEOPLE. Be fun and don’t worry about being “crazy”….errrryone is cray.

Love Miley
I said it. LOVE HER. Why? Because she said this: “Beauty is the enemy. We try to conquer not feeling beautiful all our lives. It's a battle that can't be won. There's no definition of beauty. The only way to achieve beauty is to feel it from inside without breaking down into individual physical attributes”. For real though—that’s a direct quote. She cut off all of her hair. SO WHAT? It will grow back. If not, she’ll get a wig and rock that too. Sure, the drug references in her summer hit, “We Can’t Stop” are not kosher. But I’m not going to go out, get a line of cocaine in the bathroom, and then blame Miley. For once in your life, be whoever you want even if it’s utterly ridiculous.
PS: you can’t sit there and tell me her song isn’t your jam. It is. No judgment, gurl.